i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
