Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
