Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
