i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize