some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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