i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
