I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
