last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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