i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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