It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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