I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
