she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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