There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
