Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
