Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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