got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There r osticjed everywhere
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
