Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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