I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
