ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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