I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize