I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't notice because vodka
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
