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• (602): View more from Arizona

  i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me they were just razor bumps!

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  "I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.

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