so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize