We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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