Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
