My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
