my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
