But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
