I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
