Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
