He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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