Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
