Its about making memories worth repressing
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
