return my video game
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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