then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
