went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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