eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
