he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
