dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
