Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
