Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
