My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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