I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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