My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
