Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
NoShamevember. You game?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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