i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I would fuck him just for his dog
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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