brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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