Cold hands, warm shart.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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