I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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