I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
