Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
