Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
