I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
