There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
