so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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