My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
