So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
