She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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