Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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