we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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