My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
