you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
