NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
