You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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