so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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