Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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