Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
