the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
