Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
